Have you ever tried to adopt a new healthy habit, like exercising, eating better, or meditating, only to give up after a few days or weeks? You are definitely not alone. Even though we quickly turn to self blame, it seems we end up struggling, not because we lack willpower, but because we haven’t learned how habits really work. We don’t seem to know how to anchor them into daily life in a way that’s sustainable and meaningful.
This article aims to provide more information with practical, doable examples you can start using today so change doesn’t fade, it sticks.
Habit vs Routine: What’s the Difference? And Why Do They Matter?
Habits are behaviors we do which become automatic over time as we repeat them. Habits can be very useful in reducing all the mental load of our lives. They allow us to act without thinking too hard, which is why our daily routines , from brushing our teeth to checking our phones, happen almost on autopilot.
Routines on the other hand are structured sequences of behaviors we follow regularly. For example when we were all young our caregivers would remind us of washing our hands; we’d have to consciously go to the sink, turn on the tap, soap up, wash,rinse etc. That sequence is a routine.
Habits are the automatic behaviors tucked into those routines. When a behavior becomes a habit, it no longer depends on motivation, but it’s triggered by a cue, like time of day or a specific situation.
This distinction matters because routines help cue habits. We can think of someone trying to stop smoking, however they may be easily “cued” or “triggered” in certain situations (routines) like when they are drinking coffee, or when they wake up in the morning. During those times their brain has paired up these two events over and over to the point it’s become an automatic habit. The situation cues the urge to smoke.
We can use that knowledge to our advantage. Strategies like habit stacking (linking a new habit to an existing behavior) take advantage of this connection. If you are interested further in this connection check out the article from The Cleveland Clinic https://health.clevelandclinic.org/habit-stacking.
American Psychological Association lists various reasons for forming healthy habits. https://www.psych.on.ca/Public/Blog/2025/The-Power-of-Routine-How-Establishing-Daily-Habits
Healthy habits aren’t just about “being productive”, they are worth cultivating as they reduce stress, support emotional health, and improve overall well-being. But building them can take some strategy, patience, and consistency.
But let’s be real. Most of us don’t need to read any more reasons why it’s good for us to have healthy habits. We also want them in our lives. It’s trying to figure out what will work for us that’s the challenging part. Read on to find some science backed simple examples you can start practicing.
How Habits Form: The Science
Research shows that forming a new habit can take some time. One landmark study found that, on average, behavior becomes automatic in about 66 days, though the range can vary depending on the person and the habit. Verywell Mind
Habits form through repetition in the same context — cue, craving, response and reward. All habits proceed through this loop. The cue is a picture of a cake on the TV commercial. The cravings are motivational forces behind each behavior. You crave the “the state of being t will give you. The response is the behaviour you take (go and eat some cookies) and the reward is the powerful dopamine kick your brain gets from all of this and wants to do it again and again.
The brain is strongly geared towards dopamine.
Keys to Building Habits That Stick
Forget about goals, Focus on Systems instead
How often have your found yourself setting goals at the beginning of the new year, and before you know it, you are back to your old settings. There’s nothing wrong with setting goals. However new research on building healthy habits tells us goals on their own won’t bring the results. Goals are a good guide to direction, and primarily about the result you want to achieve. However in order to get there you need simple, easily manageable systems in place (habits). Systems are about the processes that lead to the results. Here are some ways to set new systems (habits);
1. Start Small — Really Small
It seems that if a goal feels too big, your brain will resist it. Evidence shows one hack is to break the goals into very small steps and practicing that first step towards a win. The key here is that it could be easily achieved, simple and that you do it often. Instead of “exercise for 30 minutes,” try “something smaller like walking to the store or around the block for 10min every day. These small wins build consistency and confidence.
2. Make it Easy
Habits are easier to build when they fit into your flow of life. You are more likely to go to the gym if it’s on your way to work because stopping doesn’t add much friction to your lifestyle. Remove various “friction” points around your environment that make it hard from adopting good habits.
3. Make it More Attractive: Use Habit Stacking and Temptation Building
Habits are driven by a dopamine feedback loop (our brain likes the feeling they give). Every highly habit-forming behavior like eating junk food, playing video games, gambling, browsing social media is associated with a spike of dopamine. We can use this by connecting the new behaviors to already existing ones that are strongly rooted in our life: Your habits can become more attractive by using Habit stacking and Temptation bundling.
Habit Stacking:
Identify a behavior you already do every day and add a tiny new action right after it. You are basically pairing a new thing with the already existing behavior.
How it works: After I make my morning coffee → I will do 5 minutes of stretching.
This leverages existing cues for new behaviors.
The Trends in Cognitive Science article speaks further of this brain hack. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661324002663
Temptation building:
Means linking something you enjoy with something you’re trying to turn into a habit, so the task feels more pleasant, like saving your favourite podcast for workouts or only watching Netflix while you fold laundry or walk on a treadmill.
4. Be Consistent With Time or Context
Doing a behavior at the same time or in the same situation helps your brain connect the dots faster. Howdy Health
Example: Meditate at 7:30am every day, or journal right after dinner.
5. Reward Yourself
This seems to be a big part of the cycle of new habit formation. Science of habit formation seems to tell us that behaviors that are followed by positive consequences are more likely to be repeated in the future. Rewarding yourself , even in small ways reinforces habit formation. It doesn’t have to be big: a favorite tea, a relaxing podcast, or a brief walk counts.
Your Ultimate Guide To Building Lasting Health Habits
Supercharge it: Some important things to keep in mind when using rewards to build habits are:
- Act fast: Try to reward yourself right after you complete the habit so your brain clearly links the behavior with the positive feeling.
- Make it matter: Choose rewards that truly feel good or meaningful to you, whether that’s a small treat, a few minutes to relax, or simply acknowledging your effort.
- Be consistent: Offer the reward each time you follow through so the behavior becomes reinforced over time.
- Mix it up: Change your rewards now and then so they stay motivating and don’t become boring or automatic.
- Value internal wins: External rewards can help you get started, but long-term habits often stick best when you also notice the inner rewards such as pride, satisfaction, or a sense of progress.
6. Track Your Progress
Seeing your progress visually like on a calendar, app, or checklist, keeps motivation alive and gives your brain a sense of reward.
Habit tracking helps you really see what’s going on in your day-to-day life. When you write down things like “went for a walk,” “scrolled on my phone before bed,” or “ate lunch,” patterns start to emerge. You might notice you skip walks on stressful days, or sleep better when you avoid screens at night. This kind of awareness boosts self-understanding and makes it easier to stick with the routines that matter to you. Tracking also builds consistency because you get a little sense of achievement each time you tick something off such as marking off every day you meditated or drank enough water. Over time, those small wins add up, helping you focus on your priorities, reduce distractions, and move steadily toward your goals.
Example: Mark each day you complete your habit with a checkmark . When you see a chain of marks, you’re more likely to protect it and be motivated to keep going.
Practical Step-by-Step Habit Formation
Here’s a simple framework to get started:
- Choose one habit that aligns with your values (health, mood, energy, relationships).
- Make it small — tiny actions work best when you’re building consistency.
- Pick a cue or routine anchor — like breakfast, bedtime, or lunch.
- Track it visually — calendars, apps, checklists help maintain accountability.
- Reward yourself — genuine reinforcement keeps your brain engaged.
- Plan for obstacles — have a backup plan when life doesn’t go as expected.
Real Examples You Can Start Today
Here are some habit ideas that many clients find helpful:
For Mental Well-Being
- Write one sentence each morning (about how you feel or your intention for the day)
- Do a 2-minute breathing exercise after waking up.
- Journal one gratitude item after dinner.
For Physical Health
- Drink one glass of water before your morning coffee.
- Take a 10-minute walk after lunch.
- Do 5 squats before showering.
For Stress & Mental Clarity
- Practice 3 minutes of deep breathing after brushing your teeth.
- Turn off screens 30 minutes before bed and read 5 pages of a book.
- Send one kind message to a friend each day after dinner clean up.
Gently Breaking Unhelpful Habits
Changing habits can feel challenging, especially when those habits have been helping you cope with stress, overwhelm, or difficult feelings. Instead of judging yourself, try getting curious about what’s happening.
In his book “Atomic Habits” author Jame Clear speaks much about breaking unhealthy habits. https://jamesclear.com/how-to-break-a-bad-habit
He has been known to say “you want to make it “invisible,” “unattractive,” “difficult,” and “unsatisfying.”
These ideas can help:
- Notice your triggers
Start by paying attention to what tends to come right before the habit; time of day, where you are, how you’re feeling, or who you’re with.
Example: You notice that scrolling on your phone usually happens when you feel lonely at night. - Add a little “friction” to the habit
Make the unhelpful habit just a bit harder to do. Even small barriers can make a difference.
Example: Keep your phone charging in another room before bed, or store snacks out of sight. - Choose a kind replacement
Decide ahead of time what you’ll do instead when the urge shows up; something that soothes or supports you.
Example: When the urge to scroll appears, you try a 5-minute stretch or make a cup of tea. - Reduce triggers where you can
If certain situations make the habit almost automatic, it’s okay to rearrange your environment to support your goals.
Example: If working at the kitchen table leads to constant snacking, try a different space. - Don’t do it alone
Support makes change easier. Share your goal with a trusted friend, therapist, or peer; someone who will encourage you without judgment.
Example: You and a friend check-in weekly about how your new routine is going or do it together. - Spend time with people who support the life you want
Being around others who practice healthy habits can be naturally motivating and grounding. - Picture yourself succeeding
Visualizing small wins can help your brain believe change is possible.
Example: Imagine yourself getting into bed, phone-free, feeling calm and proud.
Why You Might Slip Up , And What Helps
Habits become automatic only after some ongoing repetition. Life stress, travel, illness, or busy schedules can derail and break the new habits we’re trying to implement. This can make us want to throw in the towel and give up. But we want to plan for this, because it is bound to happen. It is a natural part of the process. This is not failure; it’s human. Research highlights that setbacks don’t ruin your progress: so try and pick it up where you left off, if you skipped some days, then return tomorrow. Psychology Today
Tips to help get back with the plan of new healthy habit forming:
- Focus on progress, not perfection.
- Ask a friend to check in with you.
- Adjust your habit size; smaller can be stronger.
- Hook your habit to something already automatic.
Building Healthy Habits & Mental Health: Why This Matters
Healthy habits do more than change behavior; they affect your mood, stress levels, and emotional resilience. Therapy can help uncover the root barriers like emotional, cognitive, or relational that make habits hard to sustain. At Lakeland Therapy Centre, we often support clients in identifying meaningful habit goals that complement therapy work. Some may include sleep routines, stress management practices, struggle with procrastination, or self-care rituals.
You Don’t Have to Build New Habits on Your Own
If you’ve been trying to make healthy changes and keep finding yourself slipping back into old patterns, you’re not failing, you’re human. And you don’t have to do it alone.
At Lakeland Therapy Centre, our therapists support adults, teens, and families who want to feel more grounded, steady, and in control of their lives. Whether you’re working to manage stress, anxiety, ADHD, burnout, or simply wanting to feel better in your day-to-day life, we offer warm, non-judgmental therapy at your pace that is never rushed and always compassionate and respectful.
We provide in-person therapy in Toronto Beaches area, and secure virtual therapy across Ontario.
If you’re ready to feel supported while you build habits that actually work for you, you can:
♦Book a free consultation: https://lakelandtherapycentre.janeapp.com/
♦ Ask questions; big or small
♦ Get matched with a therapist who truly fits your needs
You’re welcome here exactly as you are, at whatever stage of change you’re in.
Visit Lakeland Therapy Centre to book your appointment:
https://lakelandtherapycentre.ca/
We’re here to walk alongside you as you create small, sustainable changes that support the life you want, one compassionate step at a time.